At least make sure they are 18
Why
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
