I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
