thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't watch enough power rangers
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize