dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
