Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
