Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
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You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
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After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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