Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
