He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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