Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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