You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
