bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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