No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
