Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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