And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
