I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
