You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
