Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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