why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
do herpes really smell.
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he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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