Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize