smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
She bit a glass in half.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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