the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
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He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
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don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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