is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
