It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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