i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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