xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he fucked my hip out of place.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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