A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
