i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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