Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
