Too much gin, very little bucket
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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