Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
