I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Randomize
