he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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