New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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