I think i peed on brittanys purse
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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