The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize