I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Randomize
