Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Randomize
