I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Randomize
