when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
