Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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