Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
