you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
