420 ftw
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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