2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize