you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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