Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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