My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
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you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
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Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
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