he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
I'm really busy with my period
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