the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize