The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
two words...techno handjob
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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