I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
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