i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
