So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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