WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
