Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
