just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
