i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
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